Wednesday, December 17, 2008


By the end of the day I'm usually low on patience and feeling very over-touched (of course I still have a night full of touching with the babies). I was having to lay down with Ezra every night to get him to sleep, and it was driving me bonkers. I adore the child, but it was just making me grit my teeth and hold back bad thoughts. So we (my parents helped) basically taught him to go to sleep on his own. It took one night of him crying and upset that we kept taking him back to his bed, and then he got the picture. I felt bad doing it, but he didn't seem traumatized after the fact, and I absolutely had to for my sanity. So now the routine is I read to him for a bit, let him read to himself for a while if he wants and it's early enough, and then tuck him in with his "race car cup", which is his "lovey" that he sleeps hugging (lol), kiss him, and tell him I'll come back to check on him in a bit. Usually he goes right to sleep, or I check on him a few times and then he goes to sleep. It's a huge improvement.

Tonight it was late and he just wasn't going to sleep. I was about to leave the room and he said to me in this sad, sad voice (again verbatim): "Mama, don't leave! Mama, come back Ezza bed. Ezza miss Mama. Ezza miss Mama long, long time."

So of course I laid down with him. (It would be a cuter story if he then went to sleep and we all lived happily ever after. Instead he kept fighting sleep desperately, and finally I just couldn't lay there anymore so I went downstairs and Ezra called out "Mama, Mama" for less than a minute before going to sleep. Really I think at this point he just wants me there, he doesn't need me, and when I am there it takes him a lot longer to fall asleep than when I'm not. I have to respect my own needs as well as his, and I just have to keep reminding myself of that.)

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