Monday, September 15, 2008


The babies are getting teeth or something ridiculous like that. They, especially Ari, took about 10 minute naps all day today, and got progressively more tired until by evening they were screaming bloody murder and nothing would stop them.

And this is when Bad Mama took over and left them in their crib to cry. I thought maybe they'd fall asleep. To be more accurate, I left Ari in the crib to cry. I put Toby down and he started dozing, but couldn't fall asleep because Ari was crying. That's the way it goes: Toby stares at Ari with this look like, "Dude what are you doing? Let's just go to sleep." As soon as Ari gets quiet Toby drifts right off. I didn't leave them there long. I couldn't. I went up and nursed Ari yet AGAIN and he finally fell asleep. Oh yeah this was all after dosing them with Motrin, which I don't think you're even supposed to use until they are 6 months old but they must weigh about 15 pounds which is well within the weight range so what the hell.

I never felt a strong urge to let Ezra "cry it out." Sure I wanted to a few times, but I never tried and it was never something I really considered for very long. I think I'm a lot different now than I was then, in that I have a bit more perspective and I really don't think it will scar a kid for life to cry to sleep a few times (even though I still think it's not a nice thing to do). But I think the main difference is in the babies themselves. The twins put themselves to sleep regularly and have since forever. As long as I time it right, they fall asleep when I put them down. So I know they can. Ezra NEVER did that. In fact I think he still to this day has never done that. I never saw it as within the realm of possibility. Ezra was always walked, rocked, or nursed to sleep. Toby and Ari have been better sleepers, although not the great sleepers you sometimes hear about (and which I'm sure exist, though they can't be too common). Certainly they fall asleep on their own fairly readily as long as the circumstances are right. Toby is better at this than Ari.

But the flipside to this luxury is that it causes increased frustration when they *won't* fall asleep. Because I know they can, and because I suppose I worry that they will lose this ability and with it I'll lose my sanity.

I'm starving again. With all this extra nursing the past few days (from what I am desperately hoping is teething, because that ends at some point, at least for a little while) I've been eating even more than usual. Which is a lot.

Perspective: eventually they will all grow up and I'll actually MISS these days. Well not these days like today, but at least these ages.

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