Monday, October 6, 2008


Tonight has been ridiculous already, and it's only 11:30 PM. This is becoming typical. Except that tonight, Baruch was home, which is not the norm. Generally I'm attempting to do this all by myself.

Background info: We live in a 3-bedroom townhouse, but one bedroom (a very small one) is on the first floor, and the other 2 (huge master and good-sized second) are on the second floor. So we made the one on the first floor into a playroom. This means that all 3 boys share a room. Which I do think will eventually work. Eventually.

Also, Ezra is starting to be in a transitional period nap-wise. On days he takes a nap, he is in bed late. If he doesn't nap, he goes to bed earlier and sleeps well. But if he has too many non-napping days close together, his sleep deprivation becomes obvious.

Today Ezra took a nap, so I figured he ought to go to bed at around 9. At about 8:45 the babies were ready for bed, so I put them down. Miraculously they both went to sleep peacefully within minutes. Usually Ari protests for a bit (meaning I replace his pacifier a bunch of times, or something of that nature; we don't let our kids cry in bed). I was really relieved, and figured Baruch could take Ezra upstares for bed soon. Of course, Baruch being Baruch, it was soon 9:15 and they were still downstairs, so I suggested they go up to bed. At this point Ezra starts freaking out because he doesn't want to go to bed, he wants me to go with him, etc. He insists he needs to go to HIS bed. (He'll end up sleeping in our bed regardless, so lately we've just been putting him in our bed to begin with.) The babies are sleeping in their room, but finally I say fine, can you be quiet? Ezra assures me that yes, he will be quiet while Babba (our version of Daddy) reads to him. I say I'll come up and lay with him when they're done brushing teeth and reading.

Bad move on my part. I heard them reading (quietly) on the monitor, but of course Ezra kept making comments in his typical loud voice. And of course Ari woke up. So I went upstairs and got Ari and sat on my bed to nurse him. Ezra was sitting next to me on the bed. At this point he could basically insist on what he wanted, because loud crying or screaming would wake up Toby. Ezra kept talking and touching Ari and of course then Ari will not go back to sleep. So I gave Ari to Baruch, who took him downstairs, and I tried to get Ezra to sleep.

Ezra wants to read the book again. He wants to read this specific page 5 times. He wants to...I have no clue what he's saying, he's crying and carrying on because he wants something about the book that I simply can't figure out. He's tired. I put down the book for the umpteenth time and say now it really is bedtime. Which prompts more crying and thrashing about. I turn out the light. I start to sing his songs, but he screams that no, he doesn't want singing. So I try just laying with him. At this point he starts hitting me. Hard.

So I gave up. I told him I was upset that he was hitting me, and I came downstairs. I brought him, of course, because he would have freaked out even more otherwise. But I was basically ignoring him because he was pissing me off so much. It's hard to really capture in writing what was going on here. This child is stubborn and difficult and just plain exasperating. Oh and yes, Ari was still awake at that point.

Eventually it seemed like Ari would go back to sleep, so Baruch took him up. He wouldn't go to sleep, so finally Baruch stuck him in the swing. During that time Ezra finally laid down on the sofa and went to sleep (at about 11 PM). Then I was waiting for Ari to sleep so I could take Ezra up to bed. But, of soon as Ari fell asleep (in the swing), Toby woke up. So I went and nursed Toby back to sleep, then came down and got Ezra and put him in bed. And finally, at 11:30 PM, all 3 kids are sleeping and I can go to bed myself.

For 5 minutes, until Ari wakes back up.

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